me and my wife have been married for 8 years and have two boys we both have drug problems i left her last year to quit i went back in hopes she would to but she hasnt since then we have had a terriable time seems we fight about every thing and i always have to be the one to swollow my pride and just make changes to make her happy and she does very little and expects me to be excited over it she said she is affraid to let me in her heart again because i left is she just trying to control the situation or what she is still using and said i am tryin to control her by manting her to stop
Additional Details
I am clean and sober and keep my kids away from her drug use the best I can she said she wants to work it out but wont quit only reason i stay is for my boys
Satanic Brainsmasher
June 17, 2010 at 8:01 pm
She’s getting used sexually by strange men for drugs.
DC Maximus
June 17, 2010 at 8:19 pm
She cannot address her marriage unless she first addresses her addiction. If she is unwilling to address her addiction file for divorce and sole custody of the kids. Good luck.
♥♥ LINDA ♥♥
June 17, 2010 at 8:35 pm
WOW one long sentance……..I would say keep the kids away from her till she is sober like you.
Soon To be Daddy to twins
June 17, 2010 at 9:18 pm
one word= divorce, her and get custody of the kids……
Anita
June 17, 2010 at 9:46 pm
Take your sons and leave.
She has to hit her “bottom” to want to find help on her own, you know this.
Good luck to you all.
Stephanie S
June 17, 2010 at 9:52 pm
I don’t think that is a good situation for your boys to be in. You have the right and the responsibility, if you are clean and sober, to get your boys out of there! Maybe just getting you and the boys away from your wife for a while will make her wake up and realize that the drugs are the problem and maybe she will take the initiative to quit! My brother is an addict and I have been to some rehab meetings and they always say that you need to give them an ultimatum…change or the boys and I will leave is one that you can do! You have control over you and your boys even though you do not have control over her. But maybe that will get her to quit! Good luck!
Glo★
June 17, 2010 at 10:27 pm
As an addict yourself you should and most probably do understand addiction and what it entails and how important it is that she make a choice on her own to stop. There is nothing you can say or do to make her. She must come to this conclusion herself. However, I would say if she is unwilling to make an attempt then you must be the bigger and stronger more mature adult in this situation. You must make the decision to take your children and give them the life they deserve. Drug free, even though they do no see her using, her drug addicted behaviors are affecting them. There is no way around this. As well her use is placing your recovery in jeopardy. Good luck.
Ryu
June 17, 2010 at 10:31 pm
get counsollers.
Your Reality Check Bounced
June 17, 2010 at 11:06 pm
Keep the kids away from her until she is clean or for good if you have to. Keeping them away from her when she is actually using is fine but an addict can not be trusted with children even when they are not using. What if you were not there and she makes a poor choice and uses while she is caring for the children?
Katrina
June 17, 2010 at 11:59 pm
It sounds like you are trying to do what’s right for your kids. You should leave your wife and take your kids, because they do not need to be exposed to that type of environment.
It takes two to make a marriage work.
You can’t make a person quit drugs, that person is the only one who can do it and she doesn’t sound like she is willing to do it.
AKAO4D
June 18, 2010 at 12:03 am
Congratulations on being sober. Life is something ain’t it with a clear head. I commend you for doing what needed to be done. It appears you got your work cut out for you. I think you should use some of the resources that helped you to help your family. The kids needs to be safe. I know that’s easier said than done. So many other things to consider. School, finances and mother attachment. The easy thing to say here is take the kids and run until she wants to get clean. The hardest thing to say here is, that’s what its going to come down to because too much is at stake. !) You could lose your kids to the state 2) Financially you may not be able to 3) kids will not understand why you’re leaving and taking them away from their mom 4) your wife will hate you for taking her kids 5) You don’t want to lose what you fought so hard to save – yourself! Again, I say use your resources to get the help you need. We, I mean we are here for moral support but the ultimate decisions is yours. I know you will do what’s best for your kids and you. Your wife will come around in time. You sound like a winner and now is the time to be ONE!
Good luck and Godspeed to ya…