Hi all. This will take a while to read but please bear with me. I really need advice! I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. I’ve been very much in love with him since we first met, we’ve discussed marriage repeatedly but I’ve broken off the engagement twice because of his behaviors. As soon as I met him, he told me he had cancer (which he still hasn’t proven to this day). Anyway, he began using heroin about 6 months into the relationship–he claims because of the cancer thing–although he has a history of abusing other drugs. I had no idea this was going on, and wondered why he changed from being a wonderful, caring guy into a monster. He drained my bank account, staged a break in of my place and stole valuables, etc–all the while denying that he had anything to do with it (at the time I still didn’t know about his habit). He became physically and emotionally abusive. (after a certain point, I started giving it back to him too though, so I’m no angel as far as that goes.)
I truly believe he is a pathological liar. I’ve caught him in lies throughout the relationship, and he’s so good at lying that I find it hard to believe anything he says. Anyway, he’s supposedly clean now since OD’ing in November, but I’ll still find questionable marks on his arms, or notice his pinned pupils on occasion, which everytime I bring these things up and ask why he says “I don’t know” and he gets angry.
He seems to pick fights out of nowhere, then refuses to answer my calls or speak to me. He yells at me and says I’m smothering and too controlling, and honestly I AM on him alot, but it’s because of all of his lying and past behaviors. I fell like he’s driving ME crazy. He’s so hurtful and always turns things he does wrong around on me, saying I do them too, etc etc.
I don’t know why I’m staying, except that i love him. Everybody I know hates him, but I just can’t leave. If anybody has any SERIOUS and helpful advice, I’d be overjoyed to hear it. I don’t know what to do. Thanks so much for taking time to read this!